I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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