2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
