there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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