i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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