yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
