my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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