I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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