I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
