the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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