is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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