So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
