Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
