Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
