He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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