im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
