I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
