yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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