idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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