Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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