Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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