Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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