Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
