i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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