And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
