I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
