no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
