halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
