I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize