it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
