i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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