ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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