Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
