And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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