I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
