No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
