i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
