I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
