been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
