I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
