I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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