its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so let's talk penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
