I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
