We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
