He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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