I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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