please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
