Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
