I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
