If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
