just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
